|What to Buy the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything|
|Release Date|| November 19, 2013 (e-book)|
November 11, 2014 (print)
| Preceded by|
City of Ashes
| Followed by|
City of Glass
| Released after|
The Fall of the Hotel Dumort
| Released before|
The Last Stand of the New York Institute
What to Buy the Shadowhunter Who Has Everything (And Who You're Not Officially Dating Anyway) is the eighth released short story in The Bane Chronicles.
Set in the time between City of Ashes and City of Glass, warlock Magnus Bane is determined to find the best birthday present possible for Alec Lightwood, the Shadowhunter he may or may not be dating. And he's also got to deal with the demon he's conjured up for a very irritating client…
Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, wakes up with his cat, Chairman Meow, resting on his head on a sunny afternoon. Without realizing, Magnus searches the air for the smell of coffee, a scent he has come to familiarise with. For the past several weeks he has been waking up with the rich scent of coffee, and Alec Lightwood in his kitchen. Magnus thinks about the coffee machine he bought just for Alec, who had a problem with him magically stealing cups of coffee and tea from a cafè.
On this particular day, no scents of coffee fill the loft as Magnus wakes up. It's Alec's birthday, and he has decided to spend it with his family.
Pushing the thought aside, Magnus recalls that a mundane company has hired him to summon a cecaelia demon. Picking out his demon summoning outfit, which he insists must look good on him while breaking the laws of the Clave, his thoughts are interrupted by a buzzer, which turns out to be Ms. Connor, a representative of the mundane company. Magnus is irritated that she is twenty minutes early.
Magnus lets her in and offers her coffee, which she declines. Suspicions start to grow within Magnus as she does not accept anything but water. Impatient Ms Connor informs Magnus that she would like to see the demon now, and Magnus explains that it would take some time setting up the pentagram and summoning the demon. Having a lunch meeting, Ms Connor leaves, due to return later in the afternoon with a demon waiting at her disposal. As soon as she leaves, Magnus sets up the pentagram and begins chanting, the demon Elyaas rising.
Elyaas asks how Magnus had been since he was last summoned, leaving Magnus in a clueless state, as he summons a large number of demons and doesn't remember when he summoned Elyaas. The demon, feeling awkward, tries to jog Magnus' memory by reminding him that Magnus asked after a demon who cursed Will Herondale when he last summoned him. At the mention of Will Herondale, Magnus’ memory clears up.
Their conversation is then interrupted by a phone call from Catarina Loss, Magnus’ warlock friend. Magnus had left a message for Catarina to call him as it is urgent. They begin their conversation with how Magnus has been spending time with a Shadowhunter, a Lightwood. Magnus then proceeds to explain how it is Alec’s 18th birthday but Alec doesn't seem interested in material goods or clothes, and the only new thing he’s seen Alec with are weapons, which aren’t exactly a romantic gift. He spills his insecurities out to Catarina, saying that he doesn’t know what kind of gift he should get for Alec as it might show that he is too keen, or too intense, which he emphasizes that he clearly isn’t.
Frustrated, Catarina hangs up on Magnus, as she had really expected the situation to be urgent and perhaps life endangering, and she feels he is wasting her time. Left with no choice, Magnus decides to give Ragnor Fell a call.
Ragnor Fell had been spending his time in Idris, the Shadowhunter hometown which does not believe in modern technologies such as telephones and the internet, and so Ragnor had used his magic to install a telephone in his household. Relieved as Ragnor picks up the phone, Magnus stutters with words trying to explain to Ragnor the reason for his call, as his Emerald Prince (what Magnus calls Ragnor) had panicked as he thought that the call was about Valentine Morgenstern.
At a loss for words, Ragnor asks Magnus whether it is about Magnus’ Nephilim boyfriend. Shocked, Magnus asks Ragnor where he got his news from, and Ragnor says Raphael Santiago, the head of the New York vampire clan. Not wanting to hear about Magnus’ love for Alec, Ragnor pretends that he has something to do and he needs to go, cutting off the line after saying that he’s ‘going under a tunnel.’
In the background, Elyaas suggests Magnus get Alec scented candles, saying that scented candles nowadays comes in different scents, and that when Alec goes to sleep he’ll think about Magnus. Frustrated, Magnus tells Elyaas to shut up.
Magnus recalls the night when he brought Alec to Taki's. Alec didn’t like going to places where his whereabouts could be reported to his parents, which is why they usually frequented mundane territories. No one noticed their presence as they entered Taki’s except for Kaelie, a nixie waitress who was serving them as there was something going on between a Peri and a werewolf. Things got tense when Raphael Santiago and his followers, Lily and Elliot, entered Taki’s, immediately alerted by the presence of Magnus and a Shadowhunter.
Not wanting to interfere with Shadowhunters, Raphael took his leave, off to report to Ragnor, Magnus thinks. As soon as Raphael left, things between the Peri and the werewolf got out of hand, and in an instant, Alec was standing in between the feud and Magnus, holding up his blazing seraph blades in full glory. Magnus was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and he certainly didn’t need the protection of a Shadowhunter, but the thought of Alec wanting to protect him stirred up something in Magnus. Magnus pulled Alec out of the door, pushed him against a wall and kissed Alec fiercely.
Having remembered what happened at Taki’s, Magnus suddenly thinks of a perfect gift. Realization then dawns on him that he had no idea how to give it to Alec.
The buzzer to Magnus’ loft rings and outraged, Magnus shouts into the intercom: “WHO DARES DISTURB THE HIGH WARLOCK AT WORK?”, finding out that Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood’s sister had decided to pay him a visit.
Isabelle Lightwood strides into his loft, headed straight to the coffee machine with no hesitance, and catches sight of Elyaas but ignores him. It strikes Magnus as the kind of thing she’d do. Noting the ruby pendant hanging around Isabelle's throat, Magnus remembers how it looked on William Herondale's niece, Anna Lightwood.
Isabelle announces that it is Alec’s birthday, which Magnus is well aware. Isabelle then continues on saying that she knows they’re seeing each other, and that she will stand by her brother. Magnus realizes what the perfect gift for Alec is. He asks Isabelle for her electrum whip, and dips it in a special potion that will ensure the whip never fails her, or as he puts it, "I gave it a little extra kick." He explains to her that he knows the most important thing to Alec is that his sister is safe, which is why this is the perfect gift. She gives Magnus her phone number so they can be in contact about things regarding Alec. Grateful, Magnus in return exchanges his phone number with her as well. Right before Isabelle leaves, she points out that there’s a demon leaving slime all over the loft.
With Isabelle Lightwood’s departure, Elyaas begins to speak again, insisting that Magnus should have given Alec red roses as it is very romantic. What is the use of a gift if Alec isn't going to know that Magnus had given him something?
Alec takes over Magnus’ thoughts just then, certain occurrings in the past covering his mind. He knows then, that the reason he bugged his friends on the perfect gift for Alec, the reason Alec kept appearing in his thoughts throughout the day, the constant longing for him, is love. New, bright and terrifying. Magnus had lived a long time, been through a hundred heartbreaks, but the thought of the boy with the blue eyes and messy dark hair breaking his heart was frightening.
His gloomy thoughts are once again interrupted by the buzzer for the third time in the day. Ms Connor enters, offering no explanation as to why she is late, breezing by Magnus as if he is a doorman. She explains to Elyaas what the Pandemonium Enterprise needs him for, while Magnus stares in disbelief. Mermaids who do not like being stared at in the aquariums at the Enterprise pulled some customers into the ocean, and the company wants Elyaas to curse them, a problem Magnus could’ve easily solved without the need of a demon. Ms. Connor simply agrees that if Magnus could solve the problem, there is no need for Elyaas, and leaves. Elyaas begins mocking Magnus, saying his relationship is doomed and that his father will have him one day. He is then dismissed, emphasizing till the end that Magnus should have bought a scented candle.
Opening the windows of his loft to get rid of the smell, Magnus' phone buzzes in the pocket of his tight pants. His heart skips a beat looking at the name of the caller. Alec. Magnus had wanted to see him all day, but being able to talk to Alec was certainly better than nothing. Alec is surprised to know that Magnus had remembered his birthday. Magnus asks Alec how his day was, and jokingly asks if he got a big axe on his birthday cake, and where he is heading off to celebrate.
"Outside your apartment", Alec answers. Just then, the buzzer rings. Magnus immediately lets him in.
Alec says that if Magnus is busy, he could go and come back another time. Magnus pulls Alec in by the string of his hoodie. “I could be persuaded to clear my schedule.” And then they kiss.
Magnus mutters, “Happy birthday, Alexander.”
Alec whispers back, “Thanks for remembering."
- Magnus Bane
- Alec Lightwood
- Isabelle Lightwood
- Caroline Connor
- Catarina Loss
- Ragnor Fell
- Raphael Santiago
- Kaelie Whitewillow
- In City of Heavenly Fire, when Simon and Clary were deciding what to get Izzy and Jace for Christmas, Simon also referred to their dilemma as "What to get the Shadowhunter who has everything."